Where we live it is a very tight parking spot....the drive-way is so narrow that a 3 or 4 point turn is required! Our garage is tiny...there is room for error...at all. So recently there has been people parking up in the drive-way. If we needed to leave, we have to track down the person and tell them to move the car...and we can't tell them to move the car without getting the additional attitude from that person as well. So the land-lady came over to post notes on the door to let people know not to park in the drive-way. Her note was sweet and to the point. Oscar and I have named everyone that lives in this small apartment complex...everyone is given a nick name....so here is a copy of the note that I would have left for everyone...
My note to everyone would have gone something like this:
To the downstairs neighbors’ right below apartment B (Apartment B is Me): It’s not our fault you have all kinds of crap in your garage and that your man has an oversized truck. Wake up early and find parking on a Saturday. We all know your chick snaps an attitude when she is asked to come out and move the car.
To Cheeseburger and Fry (the girl is name Wendy....equals Wendy's cheeseburgers...and fry is her husband...cause you can't have a cheeseburger without fries): we can tell by the look of your car Cheeseburger that parking is not easy for you in your garage. Do us all a favor and use the street parking. With all those newly scratches you put on your car…it’s not worth much anymore. You wouldn’t have to put crap in your garage if you would have got the 2 bedroom when it was available…I’m sure you guys regret that now huh? Fry, your truck does not fit in the garage with all of that crap in there…We know you want to look manly in front of the downstairs neighbor…but lets face it…his truck is bigger than yours…so you should be embarrassed to park your tiny truck upstairs.
To J-Ho: We know it’s a new flavor this month! Not only did you change the flavor this month but it also looks like you changed the age as well. As long as he has money right...age is just a number. No matter what flavor it is, they still can’t park up there! I don’t care if your new flavor is too old to walk up the drive-way….Hell I’m young and I still can’t make it up the drive-way. There is no handicap parking at our apartments. If that is what your new flavor needs, please call the City of Whittier and explain that to them.
To Hood-Rat and Slave (hood-rat is a girl that had a son at a young age...but still thinks she can be out like a young chick...Slave is her son that does everything around here): Talk about having crap in your garage…you hang pictures in your garage like if it was your living room. Do you really think by bringing the door down half way on your car that no one will take it?? Think about it….it takes the guess work out of the game “what’s behind the door”! Slave is tired of opening the garage door…I’m sure he rather walk up the drive-way! He will be a good boy scout and bring up JHo’s flavor of the month too!
To Alma, Alma’s Man, Casino, and Casino’s Sister: Your parking style is fine…and we love when you park downstairs! However, there is one problem…can you put a damn band aide on that oil leak you have? It’s like playing connect the dots! I know times are tough this year but that doesn’t mean you have to make your own games for your kids with the oil on the floor.
Just a reminder to all again….there is no parking in drive-way and please park your car completely in the garage….crap or no crap! Merry Christmas!
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