So I am now 26 weeks pregnant....that's right pregnant....which means in 3 months I will have a baby. The thing is....I don't think my mind is registering all of this. I mean don't get me wrong...I want this baby...I don't think that Oscar and I would have been trying for 13 months if we didn't want one. My mind is just not accepting the fact that I will have a baby, a life long commitment! I think my emotional take on all of this will not set in until the doctor lays that baby on my tummy for the very first time. I think I have always been this way...not only with my pregnancy...but with other things that would be an emotional event.
When my uncle had past away, I was told over the phone. I was fine the rest of the week...not a tear in sight. The day came when we had the viewing...I walked up to the casket...still dry eyes...and as soon as I seen him, I ran out crying! I had known of him being dead for a week...yet no emotional feelings were felt until that very day.
On my wedding day...my mom was about ready to start the waterworks when it was time for me to get dressed. I had turned to her and said "Don't start crying cause we don't have time for that." I had stopped her from crying...and again no emotional feelings were felt as I went through the day. It didn't hit me that I was getting married until it was time for our vows. Oscar had said his...and when it was time for mine...I stood there like OMG! The first line of the vows had to be repeated a couple of times before I actually started to repeat it.
I think I'm the type of person that has to see it to believe it. I see the baby all the time in the ultrasound pictures...but until that baby is in my arms...I won't completely feel like a Mommy during my pregnancy. I do get excited to buy baby clothes and things for the baby...but the responsibilities of motherhood will not emotionally hit me until that day. Well I guess this could all be a good thing...at least I'm not an emotional wreck....but it would also be nice to be able to show some emotion from time to time.
1 comment:
oh girly, I think that this happened to my sisters when they were pregnant, it happened to our whole family, I could not believe it sometimes that they were pregnant and even when the baby was here I use to look at him and think OMG you are my nephew lol. now they are 2 and 3 and I still sometimes get a mazed at what my sisters have become, great mothers. I am sure you will be an amazing mother too, and it will most definitely hit you, you'll see!
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